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Marketing people are irritating gnats.

Stu Belden Posted on Sun May 07 21:16:04 CDT 2006

So every two weeks, we get this direct mail assortment of looseleaf adverts for utter, utter garbage called SmartSource: Coupons for Pizza Hut, Long John Silver's, McDonald's, etc... It's addressed to "valued customer", so I know it's highly targeted to my buying habits.

Aaaanyway, I finally got tired of picking it out of our mailbox, so I dug up their email address and asked them to talk me off their mailing list. Yesterday I got a letter from them saying "blah blah blah it'll take 90 days to remove you blah blah blah", but the paragraph at the bottom was gold:

"We believe that direct mail offers and incredible value and our customers range from small businesses to some of the largest retailers in the world. Our program conveniently offers products and services to a household at no charge and with little or no time commitment; newpapers and magazines present advertisements while charging a subscription to the reader, and cable television typically users one-third of every hour of TV for which have piad to present advertising. Direct mail is also the most profitable type of mail for the United States Postal Service, and the postage it generates helps to hold down the cost of 1st class mail while continously improving post facilities and equipment."

Jesus. Can you believe the delusions of grandeur these worthless maggots possess? "Our advertisements for hushpuppies keep the USPS in business!"

Back

:: Response posted on 2006-05-08 by Kevin

Dude, they totally do. Whenever someone would come in and complain about the price raise of stamps, he used to always say to them, "Well, go buy more hushpuppies."
Hushpuppies are good by the way.

:: Response posted on 2006-05-08 by Stu Belden

Yeah I totally dig hushpuppies, don't get me wrong there.

:: Response posted on 2006-05-09 by Jim Drewes

Anyone want to place bets on if Disco will really get removed from their list?

By the way, shouldn't they be targeting you with ads for disco balls and leisure suits?

:: Response posted on 2006-05-09 by Kevin

Umm, and by he, I meant my former post master dad. I somehow seemed to have left that out.

:: Response posted on 2006-05-17 by Woody

actually, what i find irritating is the fact that they must have their talk of grandeur about stuff that everybody already knows. we know junk mail keeps the USPS in bid'ness 'cause they couldn't actually devise a useful bid'ness model by themselves, everyone knows there's too many commercials on TV and everybody knows we all hate mail addressed to "valued customer" or my personal favorite "current resident." yeah....current resident. they don't even care who they're mailing crap to. doesn't even matter...not one iota.

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